seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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