Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
