Will you blow on my dice?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Randomize
