haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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