is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
