Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
