i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Are my feet made of real feet?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
