True but thats because hes a fetus.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
