why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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