i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
