College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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