Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
