you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
