So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
