probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
