the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
