My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
