Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Randomize
