Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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