There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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