I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
