Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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