Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
