Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
