oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
