actually, I'm a sock model
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
