I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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