I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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