I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
