Don't make out with my wife yet
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
