every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
