Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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