R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Someone came in the potted fern
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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