OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
