if i can run in heels then i can drive
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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