Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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