i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
