miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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