I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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