Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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