He kissed a someone with a penis
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
