Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
