I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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