i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
