the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
A+ Viking dick
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
