I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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