I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
