im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
