Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
