Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
