i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
